Ava {my god daughter} would have been due this month, in like a week actually, but she was a stillborn. She was born October 29th of 2005. I regret not being able to be there for my sister but I could not get there. I mean I had NO way of getting there and it broke my heart, it still does. And on top of it I couldn't even make it to her funeral and I was so devastated! I haven't been to her grave yeat, I think its because I'm scared, I mean I know shes gone but I just can't do it, I'm not ready yet. But yeah I wrote this becasue the last journal entry metioned her and I figured I should type what happened. So rest in peace angel, Ave Nicole!